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Do Your Vampires Sparkle?

How much longer do we have to keep comparing vampire novels to Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight saga? All joking aside, it is becoming tedious.

Enough Already
Ok, ok, we get it! Your vampires don’t sparkle! Move on! Left to right: Vampires Don’t Sparkle! (2013), edited by Michael West (Amazon); Amy Fecteau’s Real Vampires Don’t Sparkle (2013) (Amazon); and These Vampires Don’t Sparkle (2014), edited by Carol Highshore (Amazon).

I don’t mean to imply anything negative here about her books by asking. I am just curious why readers and reviewers insist on asking some form of “Do your vampires sparkle?”

I have to wonder though, I mean the question is pretty leading. It seems like what they are really asking is, “They aren’t like Twilight, right?” Because whenever I’ve said, “No, my vampires don’t sparkle,” inevitably the response back has been, “Oh thank goodness.”

Yet Meyer’s Cold Ones are very different from other vampires, and no one else, as far as I am aware, has followed her lead and devised new vampire clans with crystalline skin. Why would anyone presume this is a new trend?

I suppose I should be thankful no one has asked, “Are your vampires full of those gross and redundant vampire leech-worms, like The Strain?” I mean, that is also unique — it definitely amps up the creepy, horror element — but it hasn’t been a flashpoint like the Glitterati have been.

Maybe, just maybe, they want to know, “They drink human blood, like you know, vampires?” Other vampires in many stories I’ve read try to go “cold turkey” on the human vitae consumption. Some grab a synthetic, some chug blood bags, some even drink rodents or other available beasties, all so they can avoid harming people. These vamps cling to their humanity. Nothing wrong with that, it’s rather admirable for a monster that looks like its prey to identify with it.

It’s just that I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone ask, “Are your vamps like Stoker’s?” I have heard, “Are they Hollywood vampires? Are they sexy or ugly? Are they demons or just resurrected? Are they lovers or killers?” This I can get behind. To that end, over at her blog Emz Newz, horror author Emerian Rich is assembling a whole sheet of traits for our kindred authors to list so she can discuss what makes some vampire books unique.

1555257-blade1
Blade’s had enough of this silliness, too. (Via In the Mouth of Dorkness)

So, can we set a moratorium date on the Twilight comparisons? I suppose soon we’ll all shift back to Anne Rice analogies once her long-awaited Prince Lestat hits bookshelves. It’ll be a nice change of pace at least.

Written by Dan Shaurette

Dan Shaurette is a goth-geek and has been a fan of vampires ever since seeing Bela Lugosi’s “Dracula” as a young child. He produced a podcast of his vampire novel, "Lilith's Love", hosted the "Out of the Coffin" podcast, and can now be found blogging about Morbid Meals at HorrorAddicts.net.

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